Hi All,
Thin bagels make me sad. I bought some in a misconceived effort to eat healthier, but now I regret my decision. No amount of added Everything Bagel Seasoning on top of my healthy fat of guacamole is going to make it better. I am missing the extra doughy girth. A thin bagel is just the skin of the delectable goodness. I must apologize to the Ashkenazi Jewish people and Poland for betraying the heritage of the bagel. Another lesson learned in trying to live healthier in order to not be itchy, tired, or whatever latest symptom of unhealthy eating is expressing itself that day. I do not need to make myself unhappy by eating a thin bagel.
When I started paying more attention to my health fifteen years ago I white-knuckled my way through various stages of losing weight- it did not work. What finally worked and has helped keep weight off is allowing myself to eat all the things, but mostly in moderation. I stay away from binge foods. Granted, I still have the weight that should come off of me, but I was feeling better than I ever had. I still do as compared to before I started.
Something happened this past year that has made things a bit harder. My mother died, but that is not all of it. I cannot sit and concentrate for long periods of time. I am in pain most days for unexplained reasons. I am ITCHY! I have not gained weight, but my blood sugar is too high, my blood pressure needs to be watched, and my cholesterol numbers could be lower. Sometimes, I feel like I am back where I started.
When I started writing a decade and a half ago to share my journey it evolved from the good, bad, and funny of losing weight to also include mental health advocacy. Well, this time around we are going to include what no one wants to talk about. Menopause. It confounds me how even women do not want to discuss this. There is no shame in getting older! The gray-haired warriors of the planet do great things and can be healthy in mind, body, and spirit as they age. We may just have to change approaches as we get older. Men do as well. Their hormones change, too.
In a recent visit to Miss Tappity Tap, my long-time blog reader you might remember her she is still around and assisting, she voiced a half-baked idea that my physiology might have changed enough to require some repeat diagnostic testing of my mental health. Maybe I have acquired ADD or PDA along with my existing alphabet soup. You know, I may have an additional diagnosis. I don't care what you call it, I want to feel better. She theorizes, and studies back her up, that as we get older hormonal and other aging chemistry changes play a part in mental health.
After inspiring myself by reading my own blog posts over the years, I decided enough is enough! I impulsively planned another half marathon. Yes, again. I have 40 weeks to train. I still walk, but I have yet to successfully walk beyond eight miles since my leg surgery in 2018. I believe this is a lack of proper training and want to try just one more time. This time I am going to do it like the first time I trained with Dr. Pita's help. I am going to focus for three-four months on nutrition and potentially losing weight. It is during this time I hope to re-establish some healthy eating habits and create new ones that align with this stage of life.
As part of my plan, I also am working on some mental health issues. Most of my ideas for this come from http://www.strugglecare.com. I really relate to her content and have found a lot of useful tips that have really helped me. She also is a big proponent of a lot of what we are taught is morally neutral regarding some of the daily tasks I struggle to complete. A messy kitchen does not mean you are a bad person, for example. It is a signal that something is wrong and you need a little assistance.
As I have done in the past I will write about how I am implementing or working on these new habits in hopes that it helps others. I love getting messages from folks regarding the topics. The support, questions, and vents do help me in countless ways. It gives me some accountability as well. I keep moving forward.
This is week one of the countdown to the half marathon. I have focused on water intake and doing something called "closing duties" per KC Davis (strugglecare.com). These are tasks I try to do every night to prepare myself for the next day. The lesson I so far have taught myself this week is that the bag of trash does not need to be full to be taken to the bin. Who knew?!? It's out of the house and makes me feel better.
Take care my reader!
Until next time (I will probably be in the bathroom after drinking all this water)
Kristi
Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com
