Saturday, June 3

Killing the Black Dog

Hi All,

It has been a long time since I wrote anything.  I have a reason. I was robbed. Who stole from me you ask? Depression. It is a wicked thief that takes so much from you it is hard to recover from the loss.

I was originally going to write about the depression I have been fighting hard to overcome. It was a bad round that held on for about 18 months of just work, sleep, and eat. I changed my mind about sharing much more about my latest round of severe melancholy.  It is not necessary. I do not want to relive it. Those that understand...know what I was feeling. Those that do not comprehend...do not read my blog! :-)

I am going to give some advice as to what helped on the darkest days. Over the past year I have studied positive psychology. It boils down to just being grateful. That's it. That's all there is to it. GRATITUDE. Even when I was fighting getting out of bed every morning, I sat there and decided what I was grateful for that day. Did it cure the depression? No. However, it did help just a little bit. On good days it put a smile on my face. I strongly encourage everyone to develop a plan for daily gratitude reflection.

I have switched jobs and firmly believe with this new job I will have more hours of free time. I was working a lot of hours a week for over a year (while in the midst of a severe depression and put my goals for getting people moving on hold. I kept moving, but I want to do more than that. I want to encourage others to keep moving. I cannot do that if I am not writing and sharing.

Expect to see more #mustkeepmoving posts on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. If you don't see them...call me out!

Til next time,
Kristi

P.S. I am going to write more about the positive psychology folks I have been studying. I am rusty on my humor writing, so please be patient while I get back in the groove.

P.P.S. "The black dog" is a phrase for depression.

Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com

Monday, December 26

Being a Brat

Hi All,

I hope everyone had a WONDERFUL Christmas. Personally, my new prized possession is the Hufflepuff sweatshirt my sister gifted to me.

I am in full on brat mode right now. I got my latest yearly test results and I have quite a bit of work to do...quickly. I have managed in the past two years to become full-on diabetic and my cholesterol is not looking so good either. The new doctor knows my history of losing 75 pounds and gaining back 60 of it. So she believes this is quite reversible and I can be removed from medicines within the year....if I eat completely PLANT BASED!

PLANTS ONLY! 

A plant based diet is no meats of any kind.  Nothing with a face or comes out of anything with a face is to be eaten.  No eggs, dairy, or meats may be consumed.

When I lost that initial weight all I did was cutback on portions. I used the dietary exchanges and white knuckled my cravings once I hit my exchange limit for the day. All  I  did was think about food. Obsessively.

This is going to be quite the change, but I have no doubt I can do it with a lot of whining.

Til Next Time,
Kristi

Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com

Friday, December 9

Forming a New Army

Note: I am back to using Blogger for my Must Keep Moving blog. My posts that were on Wordpress are lost in the internet somewhere due to countless issues to name. That is ok, because one of the posts in it was the eulogy for my father and other grief-streaked posts. While the posts were heartfelt and I wish I still had copies, they are in my heart. Onward to new and exciting things...good, bad, and ugly.

 Hi, Welcome back to my blogger blog. I am a bit rusty because I have not written much the past four years, but I hope that will soon change. I have also started another blog at http://www.folksimeet.com. Feel free to check it out as well.

As many of my faithful friends and family members know my army disapparated around me. The army that I employed to keep me healthy! Well, I am happy to report I have a new army now in place. Let's take a roll call of the members.
Dr. Yoga - Dr. Yoga is my new integrative health physician. She also is a yoga instructor....EEK! Not a big Yoga fan, but I do feel better after a yoga class. I have only had a couple appointments with her starting out, but I do like her a lot. I am excited that I finally found a doctor after 4 years that practices the type of medicine I believe we all deserve. She believes in a whole body approach. Namaste! 

Crossfit Family - While I have been negligent of my Crossfit family. I do have a coach (that is currently on maternity leave) that has kept me on track during one of the biggest funks of my life. When I allow these folks to help me...they help more than the ever know.

PT Bruiser - PT Bruiser is my rock. My one person that has stayed in my Army from the very beginning. Still beautiful inside and outside her divine soul.

Miss Tappity Tap - Since this has all began Miss Tappity Tap has also kept me on track. Can you believe it?!?!? Probably one of the best counselors in Indy.

The NP - I finally found a prescribing nurse practitioner that looked at my GENETICS! She found genetically some issues that we are working to correct to keep me healthy in mind, body, and spirit.

YOU - I hope you all realize how much your support over the years has helped. This blog is to document my journey through life and to give you a place to know that someone else understands your same struggles.

This blog is supposed to be funny as well, but I wanted to give you a quick update today. So in order to get your humor fix I want to give you a past update to read http://kristiasher.blogspot.com/2009/01/january-28-2009-my-nemesis.html

Til Next Week,

Kristi Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com

Tuesday, November 27

November 27, 2012 – End of and Era, Beginning of a New

All,

I am starting a new blog. Similar to this one (still 90% funny, but also raw), but more dedicated than I have been over the past year. I am torn as I write this post because I am not sure how much detail I want to go into when ending this blog and starting the new. I decided that I can be as detailed as I want because it is MY blog and many of you told me that you often have the same feelings and emotions that I do in similar situations. I know in my life it really helps if I know someone else is going through the same thing.

When Dr. Pita left I was not ready (or so I thought). Honestly, he knew how to motivate me. He was tough, but firm. He truly was a mentor. I admit that I know several people that knew him and/or were also patients and did not have the same reaction. However, his methods worked for me. Those that have known me for a long time could write huge testimonials to this fact.

Over the past couple of years I have tried to fill that void. I expected anyone I met in the health industry to fill that role. I have been disappointed. Deeply. I also have been unfair to those around me because they do not meet the same expectations. The person that is damaged by this most is myself. I never gave myself enough credit for what I learned and my own motivation to be a fit person in mind, body, and spirit. I looked way too much to others to pull me along. Dr. Pita never did that. He coached. He NEVER pulled me along.

One of the things that keeps running through my mind is a comment that Dr. Pita gave me one time. He was comparing me to a person on the Biggest Loser. He watched it one night and said he thought of me because this girl was pulling tires(?) up a hill and ignoring all the noise around her. She just kept moving. Everyone said she needed to do it different in order to get up the hill first, but she knew all she needed to do is keep moving and she would make it up that hill. She did and she won. Dr. Pita is right that is the essence of who I am. I firmly believe in anything in life you just have to keep moving (my father taught me well). Cut out all the noise and listen to your own instincts, try what others suggest, but if it doesn’t work for you try something else until you find it.

To be fair to myself, I didn’t stop moving. Last week was the first week I did not workout at least 3 times a week in 2 years. How many people can say that? Not many. Where I am primarily failing is eating right and working on my spirit. I also spent too much time helping others with their goals and not focusing on my own. In some way, I think I felt that if I helped others with theirs it might help me with my own. I was wrong. It did not work that way. All it did was create noise that prevented me from working on my own needs.

We sometimes enter into toxic relationships with our friends. These people are your friends and always will be, but if you allow others to help dictate your personal goals it can create a bad situation. You want the best for each other and you fight about it because you do want the best, but you have to sometimes back off and let people find their own way. That is what I am doing now with some of my friends. No worries. I have had this discussion with these friends before I typed this. I will always be there for these friends in time of need, but like an alcoholic I will have a hand out, but I will not be pulled off the wagon. I was pulled off the wagon. Not on purpose, but because advice given is not what was best for me and vice versa. I am back on the wagon.

I do want to say that I am proud of myself. The past year has actually been a difficult year for me in many ways. A lot of stuff has happened in the past year outside of my control, but I kept moving. I am currently working on learning to deal with things that are outside my control and learn to “go with the flow”. Right now, I am reading Dr. Weil’s book called; “Spontaneous Happiness”. There is a lot of good stuff. I highly recommend it!

I knew I was off track when a friend described me to his girlfriend as; “She is a really nice person. I think you will like her a lot. She doesn’t smile a lot, but she will definitely get all the sarcasm you dish out.” It shocked me. I have never been told I am a person that doesn’t smile. It set me on this path to determine where did my smile go? I figured out it was not my job or any other external stressor like that. It was the fact I was doing things for others that didn’t make me happy. Granted, we will always have to do things for others that we do not like, but this was a bit excessive. It also was cutting into the time I could spend on the things that keep my healthy in mind, body, and spirit. The 5K walks is a good example. Honestly, walking a 5K or 10K gives me the same contentment that many people get from hanging out with friends in a bar drinking. I like to do both, but I would choose the 5K walk with friends over sitting in a crowded bar 90% of the time.

So what have I learned ?

*Take care of me first. I can’t help others if I am not taking care of my own needs.

*Learn to only worry about changing those things I have control over at that time. Recite the Serenity Prayer, if necessary.

*Surround myself with people that have the same or similar goals. We are all in it together to be the best we can be!

*Surround myself with people that support me in my goals.

*Keep tracking progress even when the progress shows a negative or doesn’t move at all.

Where do I go from here? Well, I do know that the blog benefits me and holds me accountable. So, I am going back to blogging, but not only that I am making it a second job, so to speak. Expect to see the following things on the new blog.

-List of upcoming 5Ks. Feel free to join me at some of them!

-A list of that year’s goals.

-On the first day of the month you will see that month’s goals. At the end of the month you will see how I did.

-Daily food and exercise logs.

-A monthly video update.

-Twice a month a new recipe I tried.

-Posts two to three times a week.

-Mileage tracking

-Progress reports on fitness and weight loss goals.

I want to strongly point out that I am not starting over. There is no need to start over. I am starting a new era. I eat better than I did years ago, I am a lot healthier in mind, body and spirit than a few years ago. I just feel I have some improvements to do. In some ways I have slipped in other ways I have improved. I just want to be the best I can be!

I also am reminded constantly from my blog readers that I have helped all of you by sharing. I want to continue to do that. It helps me to help you. It makes me feel in a weird way that I am making a difference in a small way. I will "pay it forward" with my continued experiences.

So, starting tomorrow feel free to start reading the new blog at http://www.mustkeepmoving.com . I kept the same banner and I have some work to do to make it pretty, but it will come along in time. Right now, I just have to get started and keep moving!



Take Care,

Kristi

Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com