Saturday, October 12

Mental Health Awareness Day Rant

“Eighteen months is a lot of routine” is my favorite line from a movie. Cameron, in “Infinitely Polar Bear,” exclaims this to his estranged wife when asked to take care of their children while she attends business school. The thought of insuring the kids brush their teeth twice a day, attend school, and do their homework sends the protagonist into a panic. The first time I saw the scene, I thought, “Dude, I can relate.” I immediately bought the movie. If you are looking for a film that does a decent job of explaining the highs and lows of going in and out of depression, this movie resonates with me.
I recently told several friends I was glad I did not follow the socially acceptable path in life. The track ingrained in young girls that involves snagging a husband in college and moving to the suburbs by your late twenties. I am convinced I would be the same crap everyday, neutral clothes-wearing, wine drinking, pill addicted, suburban living, minivan-driving, suicidal mom. I thank the universe every day that I am not. I am just not wired to live in that much daily grind.
I rarely do anything the same way twice. Because of this quirk along with the possibly miswired synapses, I have often locked keys in cars more than average, left laptops at home more than average, and actually caused physical harm to myself more than average. Think about it. We all often run on autopilot. However, if you have not programmed the repeatable code into your brain...accidents can and do happen.
I know that I have the tendency to appear a tad eccentric. It does not help that I am continually looking for something new to keep my brain occupied to stave off depression. My saved Kindle list it an excellent example of my obsessions over the years. There was the time I downloaded every classic book I could find based off a list I saved from the eleventh grade, I had an era of wanting to improve my Spanish by reading primary grade books, and a brief span of studying everything written about World War II double agents. My current obsession is, for those that follow along, is quite apparent, stargazing and Greek mythology associated.
Unfortunately, depression and obsessions can get a little out of control. Sometimes the compulsions spin-off into bouts of paranoia. One winter, I was unable to touch doorknobs to the point that I would stand there until someone else opened the door. When our crazies get the best of us and impact our lives, we have to seek help, whether something as simple as some talk therapy, diet changes, exercise, or the dreaded medication.
I firmly believe in you should be a GLORIOUS you, but when our place in the world, or our reaction to society, put ourselves and others at risk, we must consider professional help. Many people do not seek additional care due to the stigma associated with mental illness. I am at the point in my life where I do not care what you think about the fact that I have depression or maybe get a little too happy. There are worse things in life to be. I am one of the most empathetic, kind, warm, and intelligent people you could possibly meet. Your issues with me are generally not my problem.
On the opposite end, but adding to the mental illness stigma is this need to diagnose someone who is not what people now refer to as “neurotypical.” I hate labels. My healthcare friends assure me that names are used for proper diagnosis and support. I just get concerned that sometimes folks want a label to be unique. Believe me. We are all special in our own way. If a person can function and contribute to society. Let’s all just agree to let them be their quirky self.
I really hope this year for Mental Health awareness we all just focus on accepting people for who they are regardless of if they are neurotypical or neurodivergent. We are all unique and deserving of acceptance. However, when you do see someone not entirely functioning in society, please lend an ear and offer support.

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Saturday, January 5

2019 Goals

Good Evening,

I hope everyone is having a Happy New Year!

I have a few goals for the year that include;
  • decluttering,
  • losing more weight,
  • learning more about mobility,
  • making better healthy life choices.
My super-fantastical goal for the year is to go to Anchorage for Summer Solstice and walk another Half Marathon.  I will be posting a lot about this in the next six months!  Click here to check out the race web site.

I am keeping it short and sweet this week as I get back into the habit of writing again.

Everyone take care.

Much love,

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Saturday, December 29

Hello Again

Hi Readers!

Nice to see you again. Except for a brief stint on another platform before and after the death of my Dad, this blog was woefully neglected. I do have some musings on my Facebook page of the same name during that time period, that you should feel free to read, but I am sure they are drivel!

Much like the last post I have on here depression is what often keeps me from writing, but above all, taking good care of myself during funks is holding me back physically. When reviewing past writings on here I noticed I used to write even when depressed. I need to work harder at writing while depressed.

I write to get things out of my brain--to make my head feel lighter. For example, if I need to remember to buy milk I put it in a task list on my phone. I never think about it again until I am at the store. Imagine my surprise at some of the things I think I need, but when I get to the store decide not to purchase! Because of the compulsion to purge my brain, and the enjoyment of the writing process, I am working on several different writing projects. A few of these are under construction, but check Facebook soon for their companion pages.

Folks I Meet -- This is where I will share stories of people I know or have impacted me in some way.

Metamora Mysteries -- This an experiment in creative writing, specifically 5 minute mysteries. The focus of these stories will showcase the historical sites of Metamora with a cozy mystery thrown into the mix.

<> -- Send me a message for the link and page name to my mental health site. I plan on being very candid in my writings. Unfortunately, to do that I have tried to insure that my name is not associated to the site  quite so openly. My goal is to share stories and point to resources that are working to break the stigma!

Pups 'N Kitties -- I have two blogs I sorta started TWELVE years ago to post pics for the dogs and cats with little stories. I primarily use Facebook to show those stories now, but I may link to new stories and the blogs Finicky Felines and Howling Hounds on blogger for longer stories. I have to clean the blogs up a bit to host some stories. When I post to these I will make note on my Facebook pages for Folks I Meet, Metamora Mysteries, and Must Keep Moving.

Must Keep Moving -- This blogger site will continue to exist with stories and reminders to KEEP MOVING. I have some updates to the site I would like to make over the next month, but the purpose remains the same. My Dad told me to keep moving or your "d-e-a-d." This I will do.

Stay tuned for news regarding my upcoming half marathon in Alaska!!

Much love,

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Saturday, June 3

Killing the Black Dog

Hi All,

It has been a long time since I wrote anything.  I have a reason. I was robbed. Who stole from me you ask? Depression. It is a wicked thief that takes so much from you it is hard to recover from the loss.

I was originally going to write about the depression I have been fighting hard to overcome. It was a bad round that held on for about 18 months of just work, sleep, and eat. I changed my mind about sharing much more about my latest round of severe melancholy.  It is not necessary. I do not want to relive it. Those that understand...know what I was feeling. Those that do not not read my blog! :-)

I am going to give some advice as to what helped on the darkest days. Over the past year I have studied positive psychology. It boils down to just being grateful. That's it. That's all there is to it. GRATITUDE. Even when I was fighting getting out of bed every morning, I sat there and decided what I was grateful for that day. Did it cure the depression? No. However, it did help just a little bit. On good days it put a smile on my face. I strongly encourage everyone to develop a plan for daily gratitude reflection.

I have switched jobs and firmly believe with this new job I will have more hours of free time. I was working a lot of hours a week for over a year (while in the midst of a severe depression and put my goals for getting people moving on hold. I kept moving, but I want to do more than that. I want to encourage others to keep moving. I cannot do that if I am not writing and sharing.

Expect to see more #mustkeepmoving posts on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. If you don't see me out!

Til next time,

P.S. I am going to write more about the positive psychology folks I have been studying. I am rusty on my humor writing, so please be patient while I get back in the groove.

P.P.S. "The black dog" is a phrase for depression.

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