Friday, December 21

Funny Christmas Poems by Christopher Huff

"Jingle Bells"

Dashing through the tool, just two weeks away,
closing those requests, wanting not to stay.
All your gifts are bought, vacation time is near.
What, vacation days are gone? This is nothing you should fear.

Oh...cubicles, cubicles, cubicles no more
meeting rooms and popcorn fumes..just a few feet to the door.
Oh...cubicles, cubicles, cubicles no more
meeting rooms and popcorn fumes..just a few feet to the door.

A day or two ago, you stumbled on outside,
to Borders you did do, "off-site meeting" you had lied.
Books and disks you bought, a gift card maybe two.
Now explain yourself you sop. The State took you shopping, too?

Oh...cubicles, cubicles, cubicles no more
meeting rooms and popcorn fumes..just a few feet to the door.
Oh...cubicles, cubicles, cubicles no more
meeting rooms and popcorn fumes..just a few feet to the door.
Timesheets they are due, but better watch the time

you forgot your uncle Lou, so enjoy those shopping lines.
You might be staying home, might visit your close kin.
maybe it's the in-laws...nah, go visit with some friends.

Oh...cubicles, cubicles, cubicles no more
meeting rooms and popcorn fumes..just a few feet to the door.
Oh...cubicles, cubicles, cubicles no more
meeting rooms and popcorn fumes..just a few feet to the door.

Now the time is drawing near, for walking to your car,
driving through the snow but not driving very far.
Traffic will be thick..hey what's that smoke you spot,
your rear-view mirror shows your fear...you forgot the coffee pot.

Oh...cubicles, cubicles, cubicles no more
meeting rooms and popcorn fumes..just a few feet to the door.
Oh...cubicles, cubicles, cubicles no more
meeting rooms and popcorn fumes..just a few feet to the door.





"Twas the night before christmas…"

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the floor
Not a coffee pot brewing, no java to pour;
The lights on the west side, all dark and foreboding,
the microwaves silenced and security was snoring.
Virus scanners and firewalls, protected the 'puters
Spare change all spent on presents, so no worry of looters.
When up from the LAN, there arose such a clatter,
The tracking tool was changing, requests had become fatter.
Activities added, assignments had been made,
Estimates were growing and names had been changed.
The LAN slowly grew quiet; no hard drives were spinning,
these gifts had been given: auto-assigned (there's no winning).
The hallway was quiet, 'cept the printer was jamming,
the copy machine, like a duet, was a printing.
Then, just as quick as it happened, the printers and the LAN,
the lights flickered twice and it was too hot to stand.
Suddenly, I awoke in a sweat. A dream, nothing more.
My thermostat set too high, at a hot 84.
Then I heard from outside, a whisper like sound,
"IT6 ain't that grand…the tracking tool's down."
So as you think of the snow and the holiday cheer,
close all your requests and I'll see you next year.

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