We have a new character today - Salmonella Sally.
It all started when I was speaking to the dietitian today. I was asking about complex carbohydrates. As the discussion continued, I informed her of my favorite carbohydrate filled food...Fiber One bars. She had the nerve to tell me that my most favorite "healthy" food is FAKE! What?!?!? She said the fiber in those bars is not as good as whole grain. I need took look at the ingredient list on my breakfast bars and make sure WHOLE GRAIN is listed first. Okay, FINE. I hate you General Mills for tricking me! He is probably not even a real General either.
The dietitian decided to give me some alternatives to Fiber One bars. The first option she mentioned was whole grain bread and PEANUT BUTTER. WHAT?!?!?! Are you crazy?!?? Have you not read the news lately?!? Peanut butter is KILLING people! My goal is not to eat ANY PB until the coast is completly clear. Thus, the nickname of any dietitian right now is Salmonella Sally. You like it??? My sister came up with it. Of course, all the nicknames are chosen to protect the very nice and intelligent people that are teaching me to live a better life and are meant in the nicest way. I highly respect all of the professionals I mention on my blog.
Speaking of the OTHER professionals (Dr. Pita and Dr. Pins and Needles), these two are on "my list" this week -- Dr. Pins and Needles for insinuating that acupuncture is part of the reason that my face is thinner and Dr. Pita for (????). Now I do not remember why Dr. Pita was on the list. Well, he is going to stay there until I remember why. I will keep him on the list until my 3rd eye quits bleeding after acupuncture. Dr. Pita is the one that referred me to Dr. Pins and Needles so he needs to take some of the blame.
Mall Walking 101
Well....I tried Mall Walking this week. Did you know there is a whole subculture of mall walkers? They can be a bit scary, but you must respect their ways. The mall near where I live is exactly 1 mile in the perimeter, so the plan is to go there sometimes for a change of scenery and to get away from the large clock in front of the treadmill.
I start walking and *Zoom* an elderly lady zips around me walking rapidly. I walk on and *Zoom* *Zoom* two elderly men walk around me. After I get used to this I learn several things about the mall...
-The Sprint guy is not selling much.
-Some people think that it is a good idea to get teeth whitening in the mall. What?!?!
-There are a lot of other people at the mall that need to be losing a few pounds. Oh my!
-The guy at Johnny Rockets REALLY likes to dance to Stayin Alive.
-The market bottomed out for Vera Bradley purses.
-Build-A-Bear is still going strong. Pick me! No, no! Pick Me!
-Some mothers do not know what their teenage daughters are wearing to the mall.
-Deb has some of the cheapest/tackiest looking prom dresses I have seen.
-Von Maur still has the nicest restrooms.
I am now officially down 62 pounds!
Til Next Week,
Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com