May 24, 2010 - Censored

Hello All,

Well, it has finally happened. I was censored, repressed, but above all stifled. PT Bruiser has put a gag order on the truth and my creative genius. It is all because SHE did something rather silly when we were exercising at the gym.

I did reminder her that the blog is not about HER it is about ME and my adventure at trying to be healthy, she did not go for the explanation.


You see, SHE only wants me to write nice things about her. She is forgetting that bad press is better than no press at all.

Now, I do agree sometimes I need to be censored, but the self-edit button in my head will just not activate!

I provide you with the following two examples from this past week.

Example #1
Recently, I was stopped by the handy-dandy neighborhood Sheriff Deputy a half mile from my house. My offense was that I did not come to a complete stop at a stop sign where I turned right.

After Mr. Officer informed me of the reason for stopping me, I proceeded to tell him; “I don’t think I have EVER stopped there in my life.” Fortunately, I just got a warning ticket. It helps to appear innocent and flip your hair.

Example #2
I was discussing with Dr. Pita some plans regarding his impending move and my switching of physicians. The snarky fear-filled remark to what he said was; “Eh. You are dead to me now anyway.” The self-edit button should have clicked in before I said that quip. The comment came back to haunt me when I needed his help later. (sigh)

Moral of the Story
I apparently need to have a seven-second delay somewhere between my head and my mouth.  LOL
Til Wednesday,
Kristi
P.S. I was the EXACT same weight as last time I got weighed. THIS is priceless.
P.P.S. While typing this entry I got a survey call about my Dr. Pita visit that was on my birthday....so much fodder for the blog on Wednesday.

May 12, 2010 - God's Gifts

Hello,

Earlier this evening I finished a book that the doctor has encouraged me to read for, oh....about a year now. The primary reason it took me so long to read this book is because I read the book 10 years ago and thought it was a waste of time. I could not relate to any part of it.

Since I continue on this journey of personal growth and lifestyle changes I decided to humor the man and read the book. This time, I learned something.

God bestows a set of gifts on only a select few.

The ability to:

• Taste the depths of hell without external catalysts.
• See the rainbow in each drop of rain.
• Experience deep soul-stretching emotional pain.
• Feel the breeze on a windless day.
• Swim upstream.
  
• View imaginative movies in the mind's eye.
• Dance to the music when none can be heard.
• Live to learn.
• Learn to live.
• Fight the status quo.
• Find the humor in the inane.
• Process thoughts a zillion times faster than any man-made computer.
• Pity those that do not understand.
• Appreciate that the gifts are a blessing, not a curse.

Fortunately, society does not understand these gifts or it would try harder to take them away.

Til Next Week,
Kristi

Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com

May 5, 2010 - Down by 2 (Points that is)

Hello All,

Well, I had an appointment with Dr. Pita today. I was down 1.5 pounds.

(the sound of clapping)

Please...hold back the applause. Really...it is too much.

We were discussing the obvious changes that are causing me to be scared and sad. The following is what turned out to be an amusing conversation.

Me: "You know, I am feeling a lot better. I do not think I have ever felt like this. However, I am sad."

Dr. Pita: "What?!? You are feeling better, but you are in a funk? I do not think anyone has ever said that before."

Me: "You know, I would rather die than go back to the way I was 3 years ago."

Dr Pita: "Good! Use that as motivation."

Me Thinking: "Yeah, that helps a lot Mr. ICanWearTheSamePantsIWoreInHighSchoolandCanControltheCrazies"

Dr Pita: "You know, that is great motivation when you start to get down or things start to slip. You need to remember that."

Me Thinking: "I have turned into an almost-but-not-quite-there, green-tea-drinking, fish-eating, veggie-loving, marathon-walking health nut. I know at any moment it can all fall apart so take your rah, rah, rah crap and shove it." I then put my head in my hands.

Dr Pita: "Look at me!"

Me Thinking: "Nope! Not listening! Not listening!"

Dr. Pita: "Look at me! You need to put your shoulders back and chin up. Biochemistry is impacted by what we do, too."

Me Thinking: "Fine!"
Me: "Uh huh... You know, for years I tried to get help and no one helped me. I saw Social Workers, Counselors, Physicians...nothing. I saw so many Social Workers I COULD BE a Social Worker."

Dr. Pita: "No doubt"

Me: "Seriously, I mean it."

Dr. Pita: (heavy sigh) "I know."

Me Thinking: "I want this to be over."

Dr. Pita: "Fear is a powerful thing. Do you know what F-E-A-R stands for?"

Me Thinking: (churn, churn, churn) "Daggone it!! What is it? What is it?"
Me: (heavy sigh) "No."

Dr. Pita: (Makes the universal sign for a point scored) "YES!"

Me: "Oh, brother."

Dr. Pita: "False Evidence that Appears Real"

Current score:
Dr. Pita: 3 Me: 1

I am starting to think I am going to lose the game before he leaves. Daggone it!!

Til Next Week,
Kristi

Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com

May 1, 2010 - ME on the Biggest Loser

All,

I have been promising this video and picture. Since I have only been writing self-reflective type things for the past two weeks I think you all deserve some lighthearted fun.

Don't blink! You might not see me! I have included a picture after the video. If you stop the video at 29 seconds you will see me. For those that read my blog on Facebook you might need to go to my blog at http://kristiasher.blogspot.com to see the video.

Presenting the video:


The proof:







Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com