January 28, 2009 - My Nemesis

Hello Bloggerland,

I blame Dr. Pita. I believe the power of suggestion made the problem much worse and he caused it! Before I get into the nitty gritty of the story, I must start at the beginning.

Last week, I had an appointment with Dr. Pita. The office was really busy and I had a deadline to meet at work. By the time Dr. Pita got into the office my leg was bouncing and I was “worked up.” Unfortunately, the energy from Dr. Pita was electric. I have a tendency when I am around people in that state I either start to spin out of control in my anxiety or shut down to save myself. For example, I sometimes have to plan where I sit in meetings because if I am already anxious I cannot sit next to a “leg bouncer.” My heart will start to race and I will be “crazy” by the end of the meeting.

Back to my story…

I am not sure exactly what started it, but we were talking about my EMDR appointments. He was speaking rather rapidly and was in a bit of a hurry. I began to shut down with the overload of his energy and my energy. I heard; “blah, blah, blah, you are going to have a hard time finishing the Mini Marathon if you do not learn how to Breath Walk or meditate while walking. She can help you with some of that.” Let me just note for the record, I am SURE that is not what he said, but that is what I HEARD.

For the next couple of days, I was in a funk and skeptical of my ability to not only train for the Mini Marathon, but to complete it. My mind likes to stay busy. I WANT to learn to meditate and perform Breath Walking effectively, but it does not happen overnight.

In the meantime, I am trying to muddle through my 1.5 mile every other day walks on the treadmill at the spa where I workout. Unfortunately, there is a HUGE clock outside the window (yes, it is the clock in the picture on this post). I tried really hard to ignore it by watching the TV on the treadmill and listening to music, but I was watching the clock and remembering what I “heard.”

This clock is obnoxious. First off, it is huge! Who can actually see this thing as they are driving down Washington Street? It is so big you can see the stupid clock tick the seconds. As Zorra says; “Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock.” It is mesmerizing in a very bad and evil way.

I needed a solution…

Late Friday evening I found a series of Podcasts called; BrainReady-BrainCasts. These Podcasts provide a series of visual imaging, logic, and math exercises. Perfect!!!

On Sunday, I took a walk with my sister and her three dogs*. As I listened to the BrainCasts, I walked along and visualized the images, solved the logic exercises, enjoyed the scenery, and did math. The walk was much more enjoyable.

I solved my problem! I found my solution! Woo Hoo…

That was, until today…

Unfortunately, the treadmill that is not right in front of the clock was taken, but I was not worried I had my MP3 player. I started the treadmill and chose my next BrainReady Podcast. Per usual, the show started out with health news and then began the visual imaging exercise. I am going to paraphrase what happened next…

“Imagine yourself in an open sandy area…

The ground is sandy and rocky…

It is about twilight…

Notice the purple and green sky…

Feel the slight breeze caressing your skin…

Smell the crisp air…

You turn and notice a large silver clock in the distance.”

Til Next Week,
Kristi

*Sam did not enjoy the walk.

Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com

January 21, 2009 - Preparing for the Mini Marathon

Hello All,

Well, I am very busy trying to be healthy and good right now. I do not have any funny stories to report, but I have some updates.

For those of you that have submitted your donations to the mini marathon charity fund, I thank you again! I also want you to know that I started the Bricks-to-Bricks training last night! This week I have to walk 6-10 miles.

The most interesting thing about the training class is that I was one of the youngest people there. The head trainer (he has been doing this for over 30 years) says that finishing the Mini is 80% mental and 20% physical. I sure hope so! He also mentioned that the toughest time for training is the first 4-5 weeks. We are to keep up our PMA (Positive Mental Attitude).

Dr. Pins and Needles is fine. I know he is a couple of my readers favorite character. I am getting into the swing of acupuncture so there is nothing too funny to report. The only thing lately is that I am bleeding sometimes when he takes them out of my head. He mumbles something like; "that's good." Since I am feeling better I do not question it anymore. I do have to report I STILL have not fallen asleep. Of course, Dr. Pita says; "I'm not suprised with how your mind is always going." What the $%^$ does that mean? Hmph!

Dr. Pita seems happy with my progress overall. When I have a short visit and not a lot of notes on the chart that is good, I think. I did not lose (or gain) any weight in the past two weeks. That is fine with me, I would rather maintain than gain. He wants me to work on breath walking and meditating while I walk (he keeps mentioning this so I will have to work on it again, apparently).

I also started with the Personal Trainer again this week. I met with her before I hurt my knee back in the fall. I really like her and she talks to me to distract me from the actual hard work of lifting the weights and other activities that she has me do. She is helping me strengthen my knees for the mini and put on some muscles to increase my metabolism.

The lesson I learned this past week that I should share is that when you start to do something not good for you (e.g. go through the drive-thru) you should do something drastic to stop your self. The example in the Podcast was "honk the horn" you are more apt to stop doing the bad thing. Just telling yourself is not enough. I will let you know how this works out for me. I see a good story coming up about this tip!

Til Next Week,

Kristi

January 14, 2009 - Podcasts

Hello All,

I have notes written down of what I wanted to write about this week, but I do not feel up to it today. Instead, I decided to share the names of some free podcasts on iTunes that I am enjoying. One of the podcasts taught me that when you learn things that help you lose weight (or any other thing you learn) that you should share with others in order to learn it even better yourself.
The podcasts (that relate to my health goals) that I am enjoying and learning from are:

-Motivation to Move
-Fat 2 Fit Radio
-Fitness Rocks
-Inside Out Weight Loss
-Prevention Magazine's Walking Programs
-Weight Loss and the Mind
-The Daily Boost
-Inspiring Words of Encouragement (Zig Ziglar)

You can subscribe to any of these for free and since I have not had any trouble using them on my player they must all be in MP3 format. For most of the podcasts I downloaded the earlier episodes and started from the beginning since the information builds upon itself.

Take care,
Kristi

P.S. I give up! The image I picked for this post will not upload. Urgh!

January 7, 2009 - Random Thoughts and Happenings

Happy New Year All!

Sorry for not posting last week. I was at an agility trial and did not have anything interesting to say. However, A LOT can happen in a week. I just do not know where to begin, so I will provide a series of updates.

EMDR...

Dr. Pita's latest thing for me to try is EMDR. EMDR is basically this method of dealing with situations (e.g. trauma) and reprogramming the brain to think about them in a different manner. You can check out more at http://www.emdr.com/. EMDR gets good reviews from Gulf War Veterans and my Social Worker friends. Since one of my readers is a Gulf War Veteran, I must say; "be sure to thank a veteran."

As many of you know I can be a very, very anxious person. This is of course not good when you are trying to be healthier, so off I went to meet the Social Worker for EMDR. Let me just say that she is an EXTREMELY nice individual and really cares about her job and the job she is doing. Remember, most of what I say on here I am trying to find the humor in...

So....

She tells me to think of a traumatic event or something that bothers me a lot and start to describe it.

Tap, tap, tap (she is tapping on my hands, as it was already proven that I cannot handle the rapid eye movement).

She stops, I explain the event.

Tap, tap, tap

She stops, I tell her how the image has changed.

Tap, Tap, tap

She stops I tell her how the image changed.

Tap, tap, tap

I tell her how everyone in the image is now gone. Woo hoo!

She informs me that we are going to start over and I have to focus and not talk while the intern writes down what I say.

Okay, we start over.

Tap, Tap, describe, tap, tap, describe, tap, tap, tap

Everyone in the image disappears again. Woo hoo!

This goes on a couple more times. Before I leave she tells me that I have to think of another event leading up to that one. I THINK SHE IS ACCUSING ME OF BLOCKING! Hmph. I want the people in my image to go away! Apparently, that is not the correct response. Who knew?!?!

Now, Dr. Pita had a good quote today that I have been laughing about all day. I am paraphrasing, but it was something like this; "Well, some of this stuff is like throwing mud." In other words, I was RIGHT! I am a guinea pig! I think his point is that eventually the perfect formula for what works for me will be found, but we are going to try a few things. Well, that is how I interpreted it anyway.

I am going to keep trying EMDR, especially since Dr. Pita got a gift basket. I would hate for the Social Worker to "go into the hole."

Latest in Acupuncture...

Well, I went for my 4th appointment with Dr. Pan (Pins and Needles). I was feeling a bit lethargic, but was looking forward to the rush acupuncture was giving me after the first 3 appointments. Hmph! Apparently being poked could not get rid of my bad attitude this time.

Dr. Pan stabbed me with the needles and started putting in the ones that are on my head. I know this comes as quite a shock for those that know me really well, I ABSOLUTELY do not like anyone touching the the top or back of my head. However, Dr. Pan has passed this test after the first time so I do not mind him poking needles in the top of my head. I also let him fiddle with my right knee cap (Dr. T., the orthopedist, would probably cry if he heard me say that!).

Anyhoo...Dr. Pan put one in the middle of my forehead and OUCH! That one hurt! He informs me that it is my third eye. Well, I inform him that my third eye does not like being poked and for future reference my first eye and second eye will also respond negatively to acupuncture needles!

Again, I absolutely have to go to the bathroom before he returns to the room....Hold on to this thought...because tomorrow's acupuncture appointment is going to be REAL interesting as you will soon learn.

ER Visit

Monday I was not feeling well when I got up, but it was MONDAY. I had pretty much done nothing on Sunday so I figured it was the Monday morning blahs. As the day, progressed I felt crappier and crappier. When I would stand up the world would go dark. After consulting my list of things it could be...

Am I anxious, thus having an anxiety attack? Nope

Am I bored? Nope

Did I eat? Yep

Am I depressed? Probably, but that is not it

I called my Primary Care doctor, so he sent me to the Emergency Room. Well, I knew I was in trouble when they actually triaged me into the ER not PromptCare. Basically, money wise. Of course, this happens AFTER the first of the year when the deductible kicks in...urgh!

Stand Up, Sit Down, Lay Down, Stand Up, Sit Down, Lay Down (If only it would have been in the chapel it would ALMOST be like attending mass, except they were checking my pulse and blood pressure).

It is determined that I am dehydrated! WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! I KNEW THAT ACUPUNCTURE WAS WORKING TOO WELL! He DEFLATED ME!

I got some saline and left. However, I did want to tell the girl in the next room that screaming and moaning for 30 minutes that you need pain killers does not get you pain killers. If you NEED pain killers you get them in the first couple of minutes. Believe me, I know. My preference is Demerol. Makes you LOVE everyone and not notice that your knee is not where it is supposed to be...

Dr. Pita Visit

Now, apparently there is a big office swap going on there. Of course there is, this is what happens whenever people move to new places. I have done it enough myself. People settle in for a month or two and then someone wants to move and then EVERYONE wants to move. This only concerns me because apparently Dr. Pita is moving to a new office without windows. Something to possibly do with wanting to do hypnosis. Silent Scream! Now we know what the next thing is that I might be talked into trying. I am sure some of you would pay money to see Dr. Pita try that with me.

I found out I lost a pound, I learned a few things from the Social Worker to try, and then moved on to see Dr. Pita.

Now, Dr. Pita has caught on that I feel a bit overwhelmed, especially when I am lethargic and do not want to do too much. He informs me that I need to "chunk" my list. Put only three things and then do them before moving on. Hmmmm...good idea...I did not have the heart to tell him that I DO chunk my list into Kristi's Hierarchy of Needs (sorry Maslow).

Kristi's Hierachy of Needs Includes the Following...

Food (what to cook, stuff to get at store)

Clothing (laundry, clothes to purchase, clothes to repair)

Shelter (cleaning, things that need fixed)

Self Care (exercise goals, etc)

Time for Self (scrapbooking goals, spanish goals, agility goals)

Work (self explanatory)

Transportation (when the car needs fixed, etc)

Friends/Family (People to call back and write, etc)

Pay Bills/Paperwork (When certain bills are paid, outstanding bills, etc)

These lists are further broken down into daily, weekly, monthly, yearly to dos. Is that what he means by chunking? I am an obsessive list maker! Can you tell? These lists do not actually mean I get anything done, but I have do have the list! Remember the list! Everything goes on the list!

Well, I inform Dr. Pita about my ER visit. He informs me that I need to drink even MORE water. At least 10 glasses, if not 12 a day. Hmmmm...Acupuncture is going to be very interesting tomorrow!

Til Next Week or something interesting happens,

Kristi