April 28, 2010 - Permission to Be Sad

Hi,

I am trying to accomplish something difficult. For a little over 2 years I have worked to change my lifestyle to one of healthy living. The failure rate in this type of endeavor is over 90%. For this reason alone, I give myself complete permission to be sad and scared for the future this week.

I have accomplished a lot in 2 years. I am healthier not only physically, but mentally and spiritually. I did the hard work, but I did not do it without the gentle prodding of professionals.

My healer and teacher must move on to share his knowledge with others. However, for me this is a loss. I am losing my lifestyle mentor. Not only that, I am losing a physician that could "out think" me. I am losing my Dr. Pita.

I am scared. I am scared that when the training wheels come off that I will fall and not get back up. I am scared that my commitment to changes will eventually wane. Ultimately, I am scared of what challenges tomorrow might bring.

For now, as I plan the next steps, I will just ponder the following quote from the movie Cast Away.

"I told myself that I have to just keep on breathing…for tomorrow the sun will rise…and who knows what the tide will bring in.”

Til Next Week,

Kristi

Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com

April 21, 2010 - Heartfelt Thanks to Dr. Pita

Hello All,

Several years ago, I was at lunch with a few work colleagues when someone mentioned that they respected and trusted all of us. The admiration was strong enough to warrant the phrase; "I will always allow you in my foxhole. Of course, we might all be too fat to fit in the foxhole." It was one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me.

Note: He was referring to a foxhole seen in World War II movies and we were eating a big plate of cheese fries at the time.

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We meet many people at work and play in our lives. A lot of people that you meet you enjoy the time you spend together, but you move on with the rest of your life. You may have a distant memory of that person, maybe they left a slight impression.

Occassionally, there are people that you meet that you are truly a better person for having met...Dr. Pita is one of those people in my life.

Earlier this week, I found out Dr. Pita is leaving the health system and the State for sunshinier (yes, I know it is not a word) pastures. I can honestly say, while I am not suprised, I am a more than a little sad...for selfish me. For him...I say; "Good Luck and Congratulations!"

For those of you that have read my blog from the very beginning, you might think one of the following, depending on if you understand my satire:

*"Why is she sad? She is always complaining about these professionals!

*"Ooooo...this is not going to go well at all."

You see, I am sad because Dr. Pita helped me immensely. I *maybe* gave him a *little* grief sometimes regarding his diagnoses and opinions, but I always ended up doing what he said in the end. Why? He was normally right and my way did not work. As many of you know, I also got results.

Just because he is leaving is no excuse to quit working on any of my "assignments." I will transition to a new physician that will make me mad sometimes when I do not want to listen, but I will continue on this journey. As even those that had Bariatric Surgery will tell you, even when at a "perfect" weight or living a "perfect" lifestyle; checkups are required and are essential for lasting changes.

I could make a huge list of all of the things I have learned from Dr. Pita, but I do not want to bore you even more so than normal. Go back and read the older posts! LOL

I could also type for hours regarding the true appreciation and respect I have for Dr. Pita, but the keyboard could not handle the tears .

Soooooo....

What I can say is this; "Thank you Dr. Pita. You and your family are always welcome in my foxhole. There is a lot more room than there used to be..."

Til Next Week,

Kristi

Originally published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com

April 7, 2010 - Birthday Musings

Happy Birthday to Me....Happy Birthday to Me....

Feel free to sing along.

Yes, today is my Birthday. The big 4 0. It was forty years ago today that I ruined my sister's life. She had such a blissful childhood for 8 years and then *poof* I was born. If you know my sister, please offer her your condolences.

Okay, enough celebrating, back to the musings....

I attended my first Emotional Eating Session last week. Yes, this is another one of those things I swore I would never do...LOL A lot of the class will be based on being more mindful of when, how, where, and what we eat.

At the beginning of the class the leader asked us to explain how we might overeat. I shared that it was not uncommon for me to stop at multiple fast food places on the way home. For example, I remember a time not too long ago that I stopped at KFC to get some wings. I then spilled my soda, so I stopped at McDonald's and purchased another soda, and since I was there I felt compelled to pick up a cherry pie. I still had time to kill, before my evening activity, so I stopped at Burger King and picked up some Macaroni and Cheese. Hmmmm... I do not have a binging problem...LOL

During the course of the class we were given 4 jelly beans. We ate two jelly beans really slowly to learn how to enjoy our food and appreciate what we are eating. She went on to explain that we need to quit eating in front of the television, computer, or in the car. Eeeek! These are all my favorite places to eat!

She hit on a point. I work with a bunch of people from a different culture. I have NEVER noticed any of them EVER eat and work at the same time. Interesting...none of them are overweight either...even MORE interesting.

Now, the leader continued speaking on this topic, but I have to tell you those 2 jelly beans in my hand were CALLING to me.

FINALLY we got to eat the remaining jelly beans.

Nope...I do not need to work on Emotional Eating AT ALL.

Til Next Week,

Kristi

Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com

March 31, 2010 - Year 3: The Year of PT Bruiser

Hello All,

No, I am not Chinese, but I am naming this year the "Year of PT Bruiser." Why? Because after reviewing my blog posts over the past couple of years it is time I focus my animosity toward PT Bruiser and away from Dr. Pita.

If you are not a longtime blog reader you may not realize that I have been at this "learning to live a healthy lifestyle" for two years. This is the start of my third year. Change is hard, isn't it? Personally, I think I am doing quite well.

Now, the reason I am focusing my inner anger toward PT Bruiser is that I really need to kick my exercise up a notch. I am in a lot better shape than a couple of years ago, but I do believe that in order to be in better shape (e.g. cardiovascular, mental, bone health) I need to push myself even farther. Well, of course PT Bruiser is a big fan of this and is being quite mean about it. She even was "gruff" with me the last time we worked out! How rude.... I am sure she can wear the same pants she wore in High School, too!

As far as Dr. Pita goes..he is more like a Project Manager at this point. He makes sure that the weight loss moves along, I stay healthy, and I have not gone insane. Some day he may even let me only see him once a month (I am not counting on this, because I believe that I am paying for a child of his to go through college). I will continue to hold a grudge for awhile, because now I am considered "Complex Care" through the insurance company. Grrrr.... Pray for us both.

I thought it might be fun to do a recap on some of the different "things" I have tried and how far I have progressed over the course of two years. What I would like to note about this list is that I never tried anything that was a "quick fix." Many people want a quick fix when losing weight or trying to be healthy. I do not believe that it happens overnight; it is more of a life long process.

1. Unlike when I received my first test results, my blood sugar and cholesterol levels are in a normal range.


2. I lost A LOT of weight the first few months. Now, it is much slower and I plateau a lot more, but I am much stronger and my clothes fit differently.


3. My cup has enough stones for 75 pounds, but I am striving to get the diamond stones for the next 10 pounds.


4. My real age has come down to my real age.


5. My more active lifestyle is alive and well, but I have yet to do some of the things on this list.


6. I am used to the changes in my body, but still get a little shocked about bones that I have not seen in awhile. Nothing quite as funny as when things "shifted."


7. Dan and Portia have come to terms with the whole "milk thing", but I posted a nasty note when someone used our fridge that wasn't an Angel.


8. Dr. Pins and Needles is now on the North Side, so I am not able to visit him as much, but I do still believe that acupuncture is a great intervention for the doldrums.


9. It is obvious I have come to terms with walking long distances as I now enjoy the 5Ks, but there was a time that I did not like walking on the treadmill at the gym.


10. I still have the love of my life, but I get sick of him sometimes. I am currently in one of those periods right now.


11. It is hard to live a healthy lifestyle; I could write this post at least once a month. I did finally agree to take some medicine that does not impact the liver/kidneys and it has made a HUGE difference. No one tell Dr. Pita, the Social Worker or Miss Tappity Tap, but they may be right.


12. I broke up with my future husband, he of course does not know it. We are over because he is a big IDIOT!


13. Dr. Pita did not have to twist my arm too much to do another half marathon (primarily because of my way worked I would not be paying all this money to see him). Of course, now I love doing half marathons now, but PT Bruiser and I agreed to one a year break.


14. Calvin is no longer in trouble with me now that my knee has healed, but my sister wants 30 dollars from him for duffle bags that he has destroyed. She needs to give him a break. He is trying to OPEN the bags, but does not have thumbs!


15. I still take fish oil, even though it almost got me arrested.


16. There are many things that tried that did not work for me at the time including visualizations, working through several books on eating mindfully, and trying to not let the scale be something that I worry about too much. However, I do believe that it is important to learn WHY we overeat as well as watching WHAT we eat and HOW we exercise.

I am ending the list here. I am bored with this. Remember, I can be a bit moody and am easily sidetracked!

Watch for a major change to the blog this year...

Til Next Week,

Kristi

Published to http://kristiasher.blogspot.com